Today has not been one of my better days. After finished a 12 hour shift in a job that I loath - I was on my regular train journey home and I bumped into a Nicegirl on the train, who then proceeded to tell me that she had just finished her pupillage and had been given tenancy at a leading set. I had to listen to this for over an hour and sit there smiling.
Dont get me wrong I was pleased for her but it just made me think about all the shit that I am having to endure to reach the same goal. I have always kept myself composed but today I just lost the plot and got emotional. I am just at the point where i am fed up with saying "give me a chance and let me prove myself"
Maybe its time to accept that I wont make it and the past seven years have been for nothing and everyone can see this apart from me. During my BVC year I put my family through hell, I nearly lost my house and was one hour away from bankruptcy.
I have had enough, game over.
Dont get me wrong I was pleased for her but it just made me think about all the shit that I am having to endure to reach the same goal. I have always kept myself composed but today I just lost the plot and got emotional. I am just at the point where i am fed up with saying "give me a chance and let me prove myself"
Maybe its time to accept that I wont make it and the past seven years have been for nothing and everyone can see this apart from me. During my BVC year I put my family through hell, I nearly lost my house and was one hour away from bankruptcy.
I have had enough, game over.
5 comments:
Hi B2B,
It's absolutely HORRID to run into someone who wants to tell you all about their successes and who leaves you feeling like utter pants, but we ALL get days like this. ( If, of course, you can believe what shes told you; if you dont know her that well who is to say that she hasn'tjust come away from her 97th interview which ended in rejection!)
It's also really hard to keep your chin up and think positive, but stop consider all you have been through to get to where you are - you have done too much and sacrificed far too much to give up now! The day in question was just that a single day out of 7 years of dedication and determination. You will get there - I KNOW you will.
Email me if you really want to vent, OK?
Hey, I totally know how you feel. The pupilage lark is a joke - and a not very funny one at that. I tried for a few years and then gave up, I am in the process of cross qualifing to become a solicitor and much happier now. Don't miss that bloody OLPAS form (or OLPANTS as it was commonly known by my friends). Good luck tho, I hope you make it in the end and will be back to check on your progress.
You can visit me back at www.veritysworld.blogspot.com
I can't imagine how tough it must be for you but you can't give up. You've invested massively over the last few years and while it can be disheartening you just have to persevere.
Envy isnt the way forward. Celebrate other peoples success and one day they will celebrate yours.
TB,
I really cant understand you.
Envy is something I don't do and never have done, I had a very bad day at work and the last thing I needed to hear was this person going on and on and on, thats the long and short of it, if you read more into it then you are mistaken.
Let me tell you something that I don't expect you to understand, but when you have been to a 3rd world nation and adopted a child - it puts things into perspective, when you see real poverty and illness and look death in the face, it changes you and makes you appricate whats important.
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